The Seminarian's Life of Integration

With no doubt or hesitation in my mind, I can say that I am an Upstate New Yorker to the core! My values, my worldview, and many of my tastes have all been formed by growing up in little Northville, NY on the Sacandaga Lake. That being said... I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit of an oddball as far as my roots are concerned. I've never fired a real gun. I've never even been with someone who's gone hunting. I've never been camping (beyond someone's backyard). I've never jumped off either the Northville bridge or the Batchelorville bridge. And lastly, it was only at age 25, on January 4th, in the Year of Our Lord 2008 that I took my first (yes, that's right, first) ride on a snowmobile.

Thanks to the generosity of David Hammond and his family, Matt, Dan, he, and I (pictured above from left to right) were able to enjoy what was a perfect day for snowmobiling when Matt and Dan dropped me off in West Winfield. Riding through the woods, corn and alfalfa fields, and over the surrounding hills we got to see some beautiful scenery. We'd stop at the top of these hills every so often just to enjoy the views. It was a clear, sunny day, and we all had a wonderful time. I was happy to get my first snowmobile ride (I even got to drive a little--and I'm here to write about it), and David was happy to have people to ride with. It was a lot of fun to share the experience with my brother seminarians.

The next day, David and I returned to Mundelein for the remainder of the Winter Quarter. We had a good trip back, and I think all of us out here picked right up where we left off in December. Not that we really have a choice to do otherwise on the quarter system; it pretty much boils down to 'hit the ground running, or fall flat on your face.' But we truly are into the full swing of things, progressing each day in our formation for the priesthood. In fact, this past Wednesday, Michael and I were instituted as acolytes. Here's our picture with Bishop Sartain of Joliet who instituted us.

(That's Michael on the left and me on the right, in case you don't know who we are.)

As instituted acolytes, it is now our "official" responsibility to "Assist the deacon and to minister to the priest" in the liturgy. Also, in cases where there are not enough priests or deacons to distribute Holy Communion, instituted acolytes are the next in the pecking order, so to speak, to help as extraordinary ministers of Holy Communion. While the role of acolyte is no longer viewed merely as a 'stepping stone' on the way to priesthood, it is only common to find men being instituted as acolytes in seminaries. Practically speaking, as someone who is on the road to ordained priesthood, it is a way of deepening one's service to the People of God through new liturgical responsibilities. That's the best way I can describe it.

To be honest, I wish I could say more than that about being an acolyte and more about the experience of the Institution Mass. However, at the time, I was struck by my feelings of uncertainty over what this would mean for my life, over what would be different afterwards. It was a very different experience from when I received candidacy; that was a much more emotionally powerful experience. As I continued to reflect on these feelings though, I kept coming back to the fact that our "yes" to Jesus Christ often leads us into jobs and roles that we don't completely understand at the time. Think of Mary... at the moment she replied to Gabriel, "Let it be done unto me according to your word," did she truly understand then and there the joy she would feel at Jesus' birth, the wonder at his presentation in the temple, the anguish she would endure as she watched him walk the path to Golgotha? Of course not! But once God had received her initial "yes," her initial consent to let the Son come into the world through her, all he needed after that was for her to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

So, while I can't really point to any practical difference in my life from being an instituted acolyte, at least nothing all that significant, I don't think this is unlike the general form of the spiritual life. Perhaps I will understand it more deeply with time and more reflection, or perhaps only God will know why it was important. Only time will tell, and that's why I've titled this post as "The Seminarian's Life of Integration."

One week, you're skimming through cornfields on a snowmobile and next week you're kneeling before a bishop. Yet, the two are not in any way opposed to one another. Being a seminarian is truly leading an integrated life. You give your "yes" to God, you tell him that will go where he leads you. He then leads you to deeper fraternity with your brother seminarians, to increasing appreciation for his creation, and ever deepening service to his people. All these things flow from that single "yes." Furthermore, even this "yes" at candidacy is only itself one more step after the "yes" of baptism. It's all a part of the spiritual mystery--in asking for our entire lives, God really isn't asking for much at all....

That's all I can write today, it's time to write my paper on Eucharistic Prayer IV for Worship II. Fr. LeFort, our Director of Seminarians, is visiting us this week so I need to get the paper work done ahead of time! I'm looking forward to his visit.

Know that I keep you all in prayer.

~J

Chicago's Holiday Cheer

OK, it's a small picture because my camera doesn't take that great of photos in low light... but there should be enough here for you to get the idea. You're looking at the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza in the heart of downtown Chicago. This was one display which was not afraid to say, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" They even had a manger scene right in the heart of it. (No picture of that... not enough light.) As a New Yorker, I feel it my duty to point out that Daley Plaza's display has nothing on the display in Rockefeller Center in NYC. Nevertheless, Chicago's tree, which I can only guess is an attempt to be quasi-environmentally friendly by not using a real tree, was pretty... enough. However, Chicago has got a one-up on the Big Apple with what surrounds the Christmas tree: the annual Christkindlmarket.

At this time, I wish that technology had evolved enough to give us the long-promised smell-o-vision so that I could give you at least some small sense of the magical aroma that is German Christmas food wafting through a winter night. Alas, I can only tell you how good the gingerbread was; it was reeeaaaly good. The marzipan was phenomenal too... as was the chocolate... and the bratwurst... mmm... and when all washed down with a little bit of Glüwein... it warms me from the inside out just to think about it. I think I'm going to have to make an appearance at the Christkindlmarket an annual tradition while I'm here. How long is it to next Christmas?

In all seriousness, though, the Christkindlmarket was without a doubt the least intrusive commercial Christmas enterprise I have seen yet. Vendors from all over the United States and the world (but mainly Germany) come each year to Chicago and set up their booths for a few weeks of December. Actually, you would probably find it interesting to check out the market's website http://www.christkindlmarket.com/. The quality of the wares that each vendor brought impressed me. I found three beautiful pewter ornaments for each of my godchildren the likes of which one doesn't find just anywhere. The Christkindlmarket has just about anything in the way of Christmas ornaments or food you could want. The only thing missing was the Glüwein. They are allowed to sell it for you to drink at the market, it even comes in a commemorative little cup, but they don't have a license to sell it by the bottle. So, my hopes for taking a bottle or two back home to Northville for a New Year's Eve party were thwarted. I still had a wonderful time though, as did David Hammond...




(That, my friends, is a smile that can only be induced by Christmas spirit, gingerbread, and a dash of well-spiced Glüwein... with a tinch of marzipan thrown in for good measure.)

The only bittersweet point was that the atmosphere made me miss my German friends a little bit. I cannot wait until 2011 when I get to visit you all! I was even reminded of many of our times together at Sarnelli House. As David and I finished eating, these guys came over trying to sell us newspapers and DVDs to raise money for their homeless shelter. (The approach bordered on pah-handling, and in fact there were some guys trying to collect a couple bucks throughout the market.) Not really having any need for the paper or the DVD, we refused. One of the guys pushed a little more and mentioned that he was just trying to get enough money to buy himself some supper. Then, just as if he'd spent years doing street outreach, David offered to buy him something. So, the two of them waited in the Bratwurst line together and had a little conversation.

To some of you, this scenario might not seem all that remarkable, but I want to point out a few things. First of all, never, ever, just give money to people begging on the streets. Giving them cash is most likely going to do them more harm than good. Either they will use it for less-than-healthy purposes, or, you will end up causing some serious tensions with other people around. What you do for one person you have to do for all. However, this does not mean that we can turn a blind eye toward someone who comes to us asking for help. In this situation, David handled things exactly right. The guy said he was hungry, and so he gave him food not money. Furthermore, this was done in a very public place with lots of people around, but yet he managed to be discreet about it. Lastly, David engaged the guy in conversation. More than all the money in the world, people who are on the streets need to know that others care about them. Without that knowledge, if they just feel that they're in some system that throws money at them when they make a big enough stink, they have very little encouragement to jump through the hoops necessary to improve their situation.

To top it all off, David and I had only had one conversation about this the last time we went into the city (back in October). A guy had come up to us asking for money, I refused, but bought him some food from the CVS on the corner. I told David then that it took me a solid year-and-a-half of my work in Philadelphia to get to the point where that was how I handled these situations comfortably, to get where I wouldn't either just palm a guy a $5 bill or try to ignore him and walk away. I know I'm a slow learner, but David is one-quick study!

The next day, David and I headed back home to New York. It was a good trip, despite some heavy traffic and a couple wrong turns. I enjoyed traveling with him, and he let me in the car to drive back to the seminary so I guess the feeling was mutual.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are off to a good start in 2008!

God Bless!